Doctor P: This is only a test. I don’t think there’s anything wrong, but let’s just do this one test to make sure. Because it’s probably nothing. So go to this place where people go to get diagnosed with things that are SOMETHING and we’ll see how it goes.

When I made the appointment with my OBGYN, I thought that they did the mammogram right there in the office. After all, he had suggested that I get a mammogram just four months earlier (due to family history) so it seemed that this would be easy. I spoke to the appointment person and she asked why I wanted to make an appointment. Why? Because there was a random lump in my breast that may or may not be getting bigger. I don’t know if it is squishy, I don’t know if it is moveable, but I do know that it is new. There was also this crease that only appeared when I flexed, because you know, I’m always flexing in the mirror.

Back to me asking the appointment lady for an appointment: I want to make a mammogram appointment because there is a lump and a crease and Dr. P told me I should go in May, but I just didn’t have time, so could you please just put me in for next week? She told me that I could not just have a mammogram appointment, because if I had some kind of PROBLEM then I would have to go to a SPECIAL place to get a mammogram. Ick.

So I took the appointment that would be the first of many moments where men would squish my breast to determine that YES! There is a lump there!

This initial appointment was when Dr. P looked at me squarely and said that it was probably nothing, but let’s just send you for a diagnostic mammogram to be sure. I was still a little unsure of what all this meant, so I left his office walked down the hall and called this special place that had a name like “Women’s Imaging Center” or “Diagnostic Imaging for Women”. This appointment lady asked what I needed the diagnostic mammogram for and I rattled off some kind of doctor talk for “I think something is there but I’m pretending that it’s nothing so she doesn’t freak out.” It was Wednesday, and she worked me in for Friday. She seemed slightly concerned, but still my inner intuition was not on high alert yet.

After all, it was probably nothing.